Milwaukee Ale House:
  • What Do Lance Armstrong and Tom Hanks' Character in Castaway Have in Common? They Both Learned to Survive With Just One Ball
  • The Fugly Shidiots
  • A Second Sink Hole on the East Side...Further Proof God Hates Hipsters
  • Alan Shephard Wanted to Try Rhythmic Gymnastics But Forgot his Ribbon
  • Somebody Put a Nappy on that Baby
Caffrey's Pub:
  • Pete? I'd rather kiss a scruffy nerd herder.
  • A female cat is called dinner.
  • Roses on a piano?! I'd rather have two-lips on an organ!
  • Baa Baa Black Queef
Whiskey Bar:
  • You're right Dan...you lezhog
  • Whats with all the Jew questions?
  • Ron Jeremy's Pole Position
  • I Thought We Were Having a Pretty Good Evening before That Fu*king Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC Showed Up
  • Martin Sheen's greatest mistake
  • Quizmaster - my number is 555-590
  • One night at the alligator fuckhouse
  • No boobs on the pic sheet make me angry
Replay:
  • Nine Dollars and a Blow Job Can Get Me Home From Here
  • So a Mexican and a Palestinian walk into a bar... oh shit, that's us.
  • If a Duke player falls in the woods, and there is no referee around, is it still a charge?
  • I'm embarrassed I didn't recognize Jenna Jamison's Mouth
  • I've been protesting for the past few weeks and all I got was this lousy t-shirt... oh shit, Walker took that away too!
  • Sorry honey, those aren't razor burns, that would be... Vote: A) for herpes, B) for crabs, C) if you want Alex to dance on the bar
The Highbury:
  • Four Beavers Are Better Than One
  • Bayern Munich Schnitzeled All Over Themselves (Clean Up in Aisle Neun)
  • Fat Kids are Harder to Kidnap
  • If Women Weren't Meant to be in the Kitchen, Why Do They Have Eggs and Milk Inside of Them?
  • Scott Walker This Way into the Back of My Van
  • If God was A Woman She Would Make Sperm Taste Like Chocolate
Trinity Three Irish Pubs:
  • Trivia Newton John: Let's get quizzical
  • Threeve
  • Who gives a Sheen?
  • Her Jukebox Only Takes Diamond Rings
5th Ward Pub:
  • We can drink more pabst than Piss + Shake, but we choose not to.
  • DNIYM (Dese Nuts In Your Mouth)
  • Dumb as a stump
  • Charlie Sheen quotes are taking over the internet while a jealous Chuck Norris is somewhere angrily roundhouse kicking a lightning bolt.
Fanatics:
  • All Cubs Fans Are Autistic At Best
  • Sofa-King Dumb
  • I'm an Octopussy & ur a guay beaver
  • Stop the bus and let my brother Jack off
Milwaukee Brat House:
  • The Firefoxes Will Continue to Regulate RIP Nate Dogg
  • Our Tiger Blood Fueled Penis' Splooge Adonis DNA
The Black Rose:
  • No It's Fine, It's Just Crabs
  • Put it in her Albert Pujols
Grafton Ale House:
  • Let's Hope Lindsay Lohan Blow More Guys in Prison Than John Axford Blows More Saves This Year
  • We're Called Sex Panthers. 60% of the Time We're Right... Everytime
  • Lieutenant Dan's Legs
  • Erin Go Bragh-Less!
  • Lately, MY Balls Are Being Handled More than the Balls of the NCAA Tournament
  • You Must Be Irish; Because My Penis is Dublin
  • How Much Coke Did Charlie Shee Do? Enough to Kill 2 1/2 Men
  • All the Small Things? That's What She Said
  • I'm Like a Rubix Cube...The More You Play With Me the Harder I Get
Three Lions Pub:
  • Why Does Tink Always have that weird smile when he watches me pee?
  • We stick out like a boner in sweat pants
  • Come over to Myspace and I'll Twitter all over your Facebook
  • My girlfriends 3 foot 2 and I'm nuts over her
  • Vagisil - I put that Shit on everything
  • How Come the Men on Our team know all 5 backstreet boys
Duke of Devon:
  • I Needed a New Roof So I Called Margaret Thatche
  • rCharlie Sheen's Mother's Tears
  • There's a Bobbie on My Bog
  • Black & Tan... No, White and Pasty
Crisp:
  • Wisconsin against West Ham relegation!
  • When Batman hits his mum, does it say "Pow"?"
  • I'm high on Charlie Sheen!"

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