Best Team Names of the Month - February 2014!

Antonio's Sports Bar

• Morning wood is a terrible thing to waste
• Crouching girl hidden cucumber 
• Women OIympic Stars…Hah! Oh wait, there’s no such thing 2nd Place
• Costas has more pink in his eye than Victoria has in her panties

Brass Monkey

• Sarah Palin Can See The Olympics From Her House
• Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Back 
• You're Going Down Syndrome 
• Scissor Me Timbers
• Hey Look! We Lost Again.

Cafe Centraal

• Madest Thou Look; Thus Endeth The Trick
• Fuck Winter
• Quizlamic Jihad
• Casey Anthony Has Some Junk In Her Trunk (Too Soon)

Cafe Hollander

• Egon But Not Forgotten
• Who Ya Gonna Call? Not Harold Ramis
• I Play Soccer With The Quizmaster And He Hasn't Even Acknowledged Me 
• Thom Selleck's Mustache Ride 
• If This Quiz Was Curling, I Bet You Couldn't Handle These Stones
• Olympic Puns Are Sochi-Z! 
• Phillip See-More Angels 
• I Put A Pube In Your Drink
• Last Time A Bronco Had A Good Drive, OJ Was Behind The Wheel

Caffrey's Pub

• We got 99 problems, and apparently trivia is one.
• Chris Hanson is a cock block
• Lift your coat and touch your toes, I'll show you where the wild goose goes
• My mom is a milfwacky waving inflatable flailing arm tube team
• My grandpa plays the accordion

Camp Bar

• Garage (rhymes w/ carriage)
• Q: What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? A: Christopher Walken
• If you poo in a cave, would it be called a spelunker? 
• Russia may have more medals, but we have less Russians.
• Bob Costas Pink Eye
• Putin's Left Nut
• Django and the Broncos have something in common.... the silent "D"
• Would you rather have David Carradine in your closet or Joe Namath's Super Bowl coat?
• Monicas real position was on her knee's

Club Garibaldi

• Unlike grade school I didn't wet my pants during the test
• Excuse me while I shuttle my cock

Fixture Brewing Company

• Anne Frank's Hide and Seek Club
• Don't Cross The Streams! RIP Harold Ramis 
• I'm Not Gay, But $2 is $2 
• Your Mom Has The Whitest Teeth I've Ever Cum Across
• Cupid is TOTALLY a midget 
• The Rob Ford Fan Club
• A Big Bag Of Dicks, For The Win! 
• I've Got 99 Problems And Trivia Ain't One
• It's Not Rape If You Yell Surprise

The Hotch Spot

• We like our team how we like our cookies..... GIANT and warm!
• But you ain't got no legs lieutenant Dan
• Irish you were naked 
• This microphone looks suspiciously like a penis 
• If it was easy it would be called your Mom!

The Highbury

• It was 37 years ago today that young Elvis Presley lost his way and walked into the Highbury
• Discreet Orphan Rentals
• I have a violin for sale... $5 Million?

Jack's American Pub

• Putins's Pistols
• Danny and the Dick Fucks
• Fo' Shizzle my Quizzle
• Phillip Seymore Hoffman's "other" hobby
• He called the shit poo!

Loaded Slate

• Perforated Condoms
• Condoms and Rattle Snakes: 2 Things I Don't Fuck With
• Phillip Seymour Hoffman and the Ace of Spade Club 
• John Wilkes Booth &the Showstoppers 
• Anal, the Only Safe Way to Have Sex 
• Phillip-SeeNoMore-Hoffman
• If a Muppet Gives You a Blow Job, is it Also a Hand Job?

McGillycuddy's

• I'm Not From Egypt, But This Dick Israel 
• All the Ladies Dig My Mammoth Bone
• Boys Have A Penis and Girls Have A Vagina 
• High Drag Projectile: For Her Pleasure
• I'm not a weatherman, but your mom can expect the same forecast. 4-5 inches.
• Shit hasn't hit the fan, but the turd is definitely clipping the blades.

Miller Time Pub

• We Are Cool for Coolidge and Hard for Harding
• My couch pulls out, but I don't! 
• Monica Lewinsky - Head Intern

Milwaukee Beer Bistro

• Rocky Balboa Picture Show
• A futon pulls out... but I don't
• First the quizzes, Then the Bitches
• The Herbie Hancock's

Milwaukee Brat House

• Albuquerque - you can get high in more ways than one!
• I think my drinking team has a trivia problem
• A horse named Sarah Jessica Parker
• Saber Tooth Blow Job
• Sure, you can pet my baby puss!
• Pen15 Club
• Oops, I schlitzed my pants
• I have more periods than commas
• Vanessa's virginal cloister of good times
• Phillip Seymour Hoffman may have won an Oscar... but Chris Farley did it better!

Mulligans Irish Pub

• #SochiFail 
• Gettin' Quizzie with it
• I like Putin dicks in my butt!

New Berlin Ale House

• Not Tonight Babe, I Quizzed Earlier..
• If Jesus Was Jewish, Why Does He Have A Mexican Name?
• We'll Take Your Calvins, Marky Mark 
• May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor... Unlike Philip Seymore Hoffman

O'Lydias

• Polar Vortex, more like polar bore-tex! Got any more brain busters?
• I just met you and this is crazy, but here's my number, so QWHEEL me!? Maybe?
• Gingers have NO souls!!
• Next time I'm coming in my short shorts 
• Taj Mahal? More like touch my balls!

Red Rock Saloon

• She smokes 15 joints a day? No wonder she picks those outfits
• Cadbury creme in my pants
• The only thing worse than the weather is a tall, cool Budweiser Select 55
• I hope Bieber has the same dealer as Phillip Seymour Hoffman

Riverwest Filling Station

• 21 Stream Salute for Egon 
• Wonder If Costas Will Be Taking the Red-eye from Sochi?
• Michael Sam For Russian Prime Minister 
• We Thought Shirley Temple Was Already Dead
• Putin Prefers Shuttle Cock with Luge

St. Francis Brewery

• Gives New Meaning To the Term "Giving Them 'the Business' "! 
•  Rumpled Foreskin
• Bruce Jenner's Adam's Apple
• I Really Hope to Give a Valentine, But It's Hard Daredevil's Dick Wasn't Blind
• "Sochi" My "D", Putin!

Titletown Brewing Co.

• Philip should have "seen more" Rehab 
• Catching Fire like Richard Pryor 
•  Seattle and Seymour Higher than a Kite

Three Lions Pub

• Masturbation is 1% inspiration, 99% persperation
• My computer tells me my password is too short, but I say 'Penis' is long enough 
• If someone taking a quiz is a quizacle then what is someone taking a test?
• If Phillip Seymour hoffman did any more ice, he would have been competing at Sochi
• There's more to life than being really really, ridiculously good looking, and I plan on finding out what it is 
• How does Darth Vader like his marshmallows? - A little on the dark side
• What do you call a mushroom who buys a round of drinks? A Fungi to hang out with!

Two Bucks

• The Ukranian Mail Order Brides
• I before e except after foreskin
• Here's my number, so fuck me maybe
• Three out of four Ghostbusters ain't bad 
• I'll "Point" my "Fat Squirrel" at your "Red Stripe" and "Pullchain" 
• The 1973 Iranian Revolution (give or take a year)"
• She'll eat your heart out like Jefferey Dahmer"
• E = Mc Hammer
• The Empire Strokes Back
• "The Seahawks will only win a Super Bowl over my dead body" - Phillip Seymour Hoffman
• Drinking Team with a Trivia Problem

Whiskey Bar

• From Stripes: "Are You Two gay-homosexuals?" "No, but we Could Be If You Want Us To Be."
• Egon...But Not Forgotten
• There was no opening ceremony malfunction; the 5th olympic ring represents Putin's nervous buttonhole
• Breaking Quizckly Bad
• Philip Seymour Hoffman Died Preparing For His Next Role...Toronto Mayor Rob Ford 
• Moneyball 2: Philip Seymour Hoffman Takes His Last Hit

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You Quiz Or You Die... the Game of Thrones Quiz is March 30th!

As Tyrion said, "It's not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it, if it were easy." Well, our intuition at Quizmaster tells us that our quiz peeps will not have a problem getting a few drinks in them at the Game of Thrones Quiz on Sunday March 30th, 2014!

You Quiz Or You Die, as it's been dubbed, will be our latest specially-themed event for our Game of Thrones fans. Taking place at the new Milwaukee Beer Bistro, the events comes ahead of the new Games of Thrones season which debuts on April 17th, 2014.

Again this event will start at the earlier time of 5:30 p.m., with a regular duration of about two hours. The event will follow the standard Quizmaster format of six rounds (five questions per-round), but of course, it will all be GOT trivia!

The entry fee will be $5/person, due on the night. There is no need to RSVP but teams are advised to arrive a little early to grab a good seat!

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Best Team Names of the Month - January 2013...

Brass Monkey

• Rectum? I Nearly Killed Him 
• Gary Coleman Lived a Short Life 
• My Girlfriend Keeps Saying I Need to Stop Being a Pedophile. Pretty Big Word for a 12 Year Old.
• The Government May Close, but My Legs Never Do!
• We Did Poorly in School. And Most Likely in Quizmaster Trivia.
• Liquor? I Barely Knew Her! 

Cafe Centraal

• I'm A Bieliber In Deportation
• Lesbian Barbie Comes In Her Own Box
• First Rule of Team Names Is You Don't Talk About Team Names!
• Bieber's Future Cellmates
• Erin Andrew Is A Thug
• Bieber's Egging is the Biggest Waste of Eggs Since Bieber's Conception
• In Last Place
• Team Names Are Dumb
• Hitler? I Hardly Know Her?
• Only 357 Shopping Days Til Christmas
• New Year, New Regrets

Cafe Hollander

• Guess What Came In The Mail Today? Me, I Ran Out Of Tissues
• The Polar Vortex Gives Me A Believable Excuse For Micropenis
• Three Ovaries And A Brovary
• Clearly I Need To Read More
• Fuzzy Door Productions Presents The Bush Twins
• It's So Cold Out I Just Keyed Someone's Car With My Nipples
• Vonn Has A Lot Of Time To Wash Tigers Balls 
• We Obviously have ADD
• Cold As Tits!!!!

Caffrey's Pub

• Baghdad Ass Up 
• Holy Witch-Tits and Warlock-Cocks, It's Cold!!
• Born in the Bathroom, Still the Shit
• Edward "Snowed-in"
• Jack Lewandowksi's # is 248-255-9004
• Our Drinking Team Has a Trivia Problem
• Sloppy Eighths 
• I don't do cocaine, I just like the smell

Camp Bar

• Oooooh! Nothing is more lovely than the periwinkle cliffs of Dover 
• Daft Drunk
• Malcom XXX's speech was "I have a Wet Dream!"
• We no sports good
• Real Futbol is kind of like Euro Disney
• We watched black porn in honor of MLK day
• We Came, We Saw, We Conquered....Trivia
• You're so vein, you probably think this quiz is about you.

Centennial

• Sarah Palin's Son, "Water Polo Palin"
• Nick Cage is the greatest actor of all time.

Club Garibaldi

• Chewbacca with a Spiral Perm
• Ms. Jackson Says: Plastic Bag it if you're nasty. 
• The weather outside is frightful but my ass hurts
• Steve Zissou's Aquatic Adventure
• You invited me in for coffee and I ended up sucking your Polar Vortex
• Be gentle, it's our first time

Fixture Brewing Company

• I Drank The Sizzurp And Now I Have The Beieber Feaver!!!
• On A Night This Cold, Who Wouldn't Want A HOT CARL?
• Shouldn't It Be Called "Un-Planned Parenthood?"
• Self Cleaning Dutch Ovens
• Is It In Yet?
• Chlamydia Is My Favorite Flower
• My Mom Sucks At Wrestling But You Should See Her Box
• Farting In My Fancy Coat

Fox River House

• Biebs Underground Racing Crew
• Even with -50 degree wind chill, I’d rather drink and do trivia than drink and watch the State of the Union
• Your mom has the prettiest face I've ever cum upon 
• It seems like the team with the longest name always wins, which is bullshit, Bill

The Highbury

• I've got a "Hard Rock" in my pants!
• Rattlesnakes and Condoms: Two things I don't fuck with 
• Mating, Dating, and Masturbating
• Three blacks, an asian, and a token caucasian
• Quiz me Quizmaster :)
• When does karaoke start?
• Jay Cutler re-signed = 7 more years of The Bears Still Suck.
• Absolute Zero is signing Jay Cutler to a 7 year extension

Jack's American Pub

• Quizzard Sleeves 
• I'm the best cornerback in the league! 
• "Just give me the damn ten dollars for best team name already"
• Cram it up your cram-hole, Lafleur
• Lombardi Went to Jared
• Pocahontas was an eleven year old man

Loaded Slate

• 007 Goldfingered My Octopussy 
• 1 Call, That's All
• I Love Squirters 
• Fast 6: J Biebs' Joy Ride
• Justin Bieber: Very Loose Butthole
• Bieber's Butt Buddies
• James and the Giant Dick
• Messier Than a Coat Hanger Abortion 
• Larry Sanders' Bottle Service
• Crouching Tiger Hidden Cucumber
• Marilyn Manson was My Babysitter 
• Incest: A Game the Whole Family Can Play
• What's My Mothaf**kin' Name (Ja Rule voice)
• Hey Quizmaster, Stop Breaking Ja Rules

Major Goolsby's

• How Does Moses Make Coffee? Hebrews it!

McGillycuddy's

• Early Orgasm - The Rest Of Our Team Is Coming Later
• Taint Of The Union Roses Are Red, Violets Are Shy, Bite The Pillow Bitch, I'm Going In Dry 
• If Russia IS The Motherland And Germany Is The Fatherland, Was WWII Domestic Violence? 
• I Love To Watch Children At The Playground Run and Yell, But They Don't Know I'm Using Blanks
• They're Real And They're Spectacular
• Phuck Michigan - Nothing Silent About It
• Wanna See My Payton Manthing
• Is It OK To Tell Yo Mama Jokes At An Orphanage? 
• Wanna Hear A Joke? Women's Sports. 
• What DO You Call The Quizmaster's Cum Towel? A Krispy Kreame
• Who Needs A Pick-Up Line When You Can Just Lick Someone's Face?

Miller Time Pub

• It's Cold in Westown and the Wizards aren't Lion!
• Lesbihonest, MyCy Rules 
• Victorious Secret 
• Test Icicles

Milwaukee Brat House

• When I don't shave, I have a black forest... in my pants
• What's the difference between marmalade and jam? You can't marmalade your cock in a girl's ass.
• Elton John's is the real queen of England 
• I have a GIANT wad of dong... in my pants
• What's the vietnamese word for cock?!?
• Muck like Barbie, my dong is anatomically impossible
• I wish I had a British accent
• Holy Schlitz it's cold out there
• My thermostat reads negative fuck off

Mulligans Irish Pub

• We Were on a Break
• Boobs are great! We have 8...
• My mom's playlist...Not!
• What do they do with dead chemists? They Barium.
• Our couches pull out but our Husbands don't
• Havana Omelette

New Berlin Ale House

• New Jersey Bridge TrafficI
• t's Not Gay If It's A 3-Way
• Tie Breaker: Snowball Fight
• We Cheated For Eighth Place

O'Lydias

• State of the Union: Meh 
• Pharrel's Arby's Hat 
• Guys, Macklemore Sucks. Seriously. 
• Beiber's Going Back to Canada
• Yay! I'm getting deported! You best Belieber!
• If you had as many dicks coming out of you as you had sticking in you, you would look like a damn porcupine!
• My Girlfriend's 3 Feet Tall and I'm Nuts Over Her!
• Cool Runnings 2014
• Chris Christie like a bridge over troubled water
• Chris Christie should be the new spokesperson for tampax
• Ripley's believe it or not: We looked up everything on our cellphones
• Dickless for Michael Chiklis
• Started from the bottom now we're here... at the bottom.

Panther Pub

• Raber Rogers Rapers
• Mogadishu Mogadishu
• My dad's mustache is older than me!

Red Rock Saloon

• You can't spell Hoboken without HOBO
• Justin Bieber - the new Miley Cyrus or the next Paul Walker 
• I have a dreamcast
• The 2 states that legalized pot are getting together for a "Super Bowl"
• Blind Prostitutes: ya gotta hand it to 'em
• Salvador Dali Parton's surreal boob job
• Sacajewea is a great coin... to masturbate too
• It only burns when I pee
• North Korea is the happiest place on Earth

Riverwest Filling Station

• South Side Missed Connections
• George Bush Paints Nudes
• Al Zheimers Will Be Rocky's Final Opponent
• It's Not the Size of the Polar Vortex that Counts...

St. Francis Brewery

• The Walking Talking Stephen Hawkings
• Our Stradivarius is Playing Us a Crying Tune
• "Just Eat It"...That's What She Said!
• The Bieber Deportation Team
• Obama's Big Black Caucus
• Rehab is for Quitters 
• Houston Must Be a Great City, I Hear It's Full of Cougars!

Titletown Brewing Co.

• Too Fast, Too Furious, Too Soon?
• I met my girlfriend on healthcare.gov
• Fast and Furious 7 (minutes) in heaven
• Scruffy looking nerfherders

Three Lions Pub

• Who else thinks our quizmaster looks like Jesse from Breaking Bad? 
• Vagina jokes just aren't funny - period
• Like a supermodels vagina, please give a warm welcome to Leonardo Dicaprio 
• You mean we didn't win?! Thanks alot Obama! 
• Apparently being born in Somalia is a new diet fad 
• Who gives a fuck about Sarah Palin's kids?! 
• What's a condom?

Twisted Fisherman

• If There's Grass on the Field, Play Ball
• My IPod has a Stutter
• Our Maine man, Michael Jackson, was a 'Lovefool' and we ain't lion...or tiger

Two Bucks

• Amy Winehouse has been sober for 3 years!
• Hillary can't win because Barbara says "no more Bush in office" 
• He-Man Woman Haters Club
• Vladimir Putin's totally-not-gay-manly-horse-riding-shirtless-photo-shoot
• Washington and Colorado in the "Super-Bowl"

Vino 100

• Would You Like To Eat My Cupcake? 
• Justin Bieber's Attorney's New Ferrari
• Bieber Drops The Soap
• In Prison He's Justine Bieber 
• Chris Christie's Detours

Whiskey Bar

• Bieber Would Be Screwed If Columbo Was Still Alive
• Fuck The Polar Vortex
• This Losing Score Brought To You By Jameson 
• I Don't Like Sloopy Seconds, But I'll Take What I Can Get
• My Canadian Boyfriend Is #1 On The Forbes Fictional 15 
• Chris Christie's Traffic Directors
• I'd Climb That Like A Tree
• The Snow Blows Like Your Mom
• Christie Wouldn't Have Closed A Bridge To Dunkin Doughnuts

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Dead Man Quizzin'... the Walking Dead Quiz is March 2nd...

Quizmaster is pleased to announce that we doing it again... hosting another special-themed event, this time for "Dead Heads"! Our "Dead Man Quizzin'" event, the Walking Dead Quiz, takes place on Sunday March 2nd, 2014 at Jack's American Pub.

The event comes ahead of major anticipation for the resumption of season four of the series, which airs on February 9th, 2013. The quiz will test Dead Heads on their knowledge of the series to date, including the episodes from season four that have aired thus far.

The event will also take place at the earlier start time of 5:30 p.m., ensuring that it wraps up around 7:30 p.m., in time for that week's episode of The Walking Dead, which airs at 8 p.m CST.

As with previous special one-time events, the fee for this quiz will be $5/person.

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