April's Best Team Names

Milwaukee Ale House
  • Our team is more regular than Jamie Lee Curtis"
  • It's never sunny in Milwaukee"
  • "$2 hot dogs? Can you break a twenty? Oh, fuck it - I'll take ten." - Lance Bass
  • Much like Gary Oldman, I can only get off at 30,000 feet
  • The last love game I played with Bill Clinton I got shot in the face like Johnny Ace
  • Idaho likes to play just the tip with British Columbia
  • Statistically speaking, black snakes are half an inch longer than whitesnakes
  • To BeeGee or not to BeeGee that is the question - and the answer is no
  • White snake? That's cute, my band is named Titanoboa
  • Similiar to David Coverdale, I also named my band after my penis... "the inch worm cometh"
  • If Santorum pulls out, how does he have 5 kids?
  • I can't watch the Graduate because Mrs. Robinson is what Uncle Larry made me call him
  • The chinese hand cannon, just a little smaller but better at math
  • Bubba Watson is proof that a man can accomplish anything when he has a large pink shaft
  • I love Jesus but I still make him wear a condo
  • It's "hard" to conceal a naked gun

Cafe Hollander
  • We Put The Laughter In Manslaughter
  • Old Enough To Pee, Old Enough For Me
  • My Girlfriend Didn’t Warn Me She Bleached Her Asshole, Now My Mustache Has Highlights
  • The Blumpkins
  • I Go Down Like The Titanic
  • I Shaved My Bush Like A Basket So She'd Find My Easter Eggs
  • Santorum? I Hardly Know 'Em!
  • Titanic In 3D!? It's Like It Really Happened!

Caffrey's Pub
  • Rattlesnakes and condoms.. two things I don't fuck with
  • Aids is still the deadliest catch
  • As the governor of California, I demand you to give me John Connor
  • Mr. Crabs is the villain of the Jersey Shore
  • Michael Phelps- $5 Foot Long
  • Since I'm In Wisconsin + I Didn't Win The Lottery Can I Recall That Too?

Bert's Bar
  • As George Michael would say, "You gotta have faith"
  • Pretzels are Knot Bread

Whiskey Bar
  • Did you know Helen Keller had a well in her back yard? Neither did she
  • Nothing brings out my inner child like an abortion
  • I saw my first porno the other day...damn did I look young!
  • What Do The Titanic and Columbian Prostitutes Have In Common? Both Went Down This Day In History
  • On A Scale of Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky, How Much Do You Like Children?
  • Want to Watch a 3.5 hour tragedy in 3D? No not Titanic, a Cubs Game
  • What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About Halfway
  • Easter Eggs take 10 minutes to get hard - way too long
  • Dont worry Cubs fans there is always next year...unless the worlds ends in 2012, then you'll always be lovable losers
  • Did you hear about the T Ball Stand that pitched a perfect game at the Special Olympics?

  • What Do You Call A Columbian Hooker With A Runny Nose? Full.
  • Hamsters Are A Lot Like Cigarettes . . . Harmless Until You Put One In Your Mouth And Light It On Fire
  • Coat-hangers. They Really Bring Out The Kid In You
  • What Do Dead Babies And Dead Baby Jokes Have In Common? They Are Both F***ing Hilarious
  • Today I Voted For Butt Sex And All That Cums After
  • What's The Opposite Of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken

Cans Bar
  • George Michael likes to "Greece" up his community chest
  • Two guys,a Girl, and one really ugly transvestite
  • Miley Cyrus can choke on my ham sandwitch
  • Irish i were Ron Jeremy

Upper 90 Sports Pub
  • Crucified and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt
  • We're Blowing This Bar Tab on Hookers and Bombs!
  • I'm Playing with a Couple of Fucking Pussies
  • Monica Lewinski's Knee Pad Refurbishing Service

Milwaukee Brat House
  • A bathtub will do, but I'd rather fit 4 grown men....... in my pants
  • Chris Brown would put baby in the corner
  • Ricky Martin is sad there's one less Dick in the world.... RIP Dick Clark
  • Crankin' Ken Stabler's Knobs
  • Hugh Jayness + the flatulent five
  • Ozzie Guillen sucks Fidel's Cuban Cigar
  • Rick Santorum is against contraception but he pulls out
  • Rick Santorum is against contraception but he pulls out
  • If Ronald McDonald still looked like that, childhood obesity wouldn't be such a problem
  • Water boarding should be an Olympic sport - and America would win
  • You remind me of my little toe, cuz I know I'm going to eventually bang you on the table

Spitfire Pub
  • Canadian Tuxedos
  • Soft brain masterbators
  • You look like I need a drink

Mulligans Irish Pub
  • I may have lost my virginity, but I still have the box it came in
  • Dick Clark dying is the Mayans saying, "Ha, hahahahaha, we told you there wouldn't be a new year!!!"
  • The only Dick I've opened up to has dropped alot of balls
  • The Toilet, 'cause we did shitty
  • If she's tall enough to reach the mailbox, she's old enough to get the package!
  • Will the Titanic float now that Kate Winslet's boobs are in 3D?
  • Indiana Jones & the Temple of Poon
  • Santorum doesn't believe in contraception, so he pulled out!!!

Jim's Place
  • Sorry Ladies, No more Dick on New Years Eve
  • Barbie Can't get Pregnant, because Ken comes in another box
  • Soccer sucks balls, and so does Molly
  • My other car is a vagina, because I ride it
  • We were going to name our team after "Katie's Hoo-hah" but it's been done too many times already
  • Santorum Pulls Out, Romney Smiles

Attebury's Pub and Eatery
  • Jessica Simpson, one of only two living objects visible from space... by the naked eye.
  • Lets be honest.. Dick Clark died three years ago
  • Two Guys, Two Girls And An English Pub.
  • If I Don't Win Best Team Name I Will Reveal How Big (Or Small) Pete's Penis Is.
  • Christopher Walken Wins Mega Millions, Buys Yacht, Names It "Deadwood".

Black Rose Irish Pub
  • Chris Brown has some pretty dope beats; ask Rihanna!
  • Tomorrows Headline: NBA suspends world peace, world war 3 breaks out!
  • David Bowie Spandex Appreciation Fan Club
  • Anne Frank and the Alchoholocausts
  • Sam's voice is like candy to Kindergardeners!
  • I used to own a boat and on it there was lots of seamen.
  • If i was a firework and put it in Katy Perry, I'd explode too.

Grafton Ale House
  • I was going to say West Ham for 22 but then I remembered you said Premier League Team
  • I lost my virginity to Ricky Martin
  • Just the tip
  • We had premature quizjaculation
  • Charles Darwin lasted 2 seconds in my black hole
  • When I heard "188 decibels" I thought "wife." When I heard large mammal I was 100% sure
  • Give me a break and suck my Electrolux
  • I know a lot of girls who can eat more than 50 hot dogs in 12 minutes

The Highbury
  • What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing they were both stuck up bitches!
  • Anything not related to elephants is irrelephant
  • Killed a hipster and threw him in the river.. Who's mainstream now!?!
  • My girlfriend is 3 feet tall. I'm nuts over her.

Three Lions Pub
  • If It Smells Like Santorum, If It oozes Like Santorum, It is Santorum
  • I See London, I See France. I just Shat My Underpants
  • What Does an 80 yr Old Woman's Vagina Smell Like?...Depends
  • Whitney Houston Can No Longer Dance With Somebody
  • What do Kim Kardashian & Miller Park Home Have in Common? They're Both Often Filled With Athletes
  • I Heard the Roof At Miller Park Will Be Open tomorrow Just Like Your Mom's Legs

Replay Sports Bar
  • I host trivia to compensate for my tiny penis
  • Ashamed for what I did for a Klondike bar.
  • Katy Perry can't make your Bedrock like Michelle Obama
  • I'm glad Rick Santorum isn't in my ears and in my eye
  • What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A Cherry float!
  • Nothing sucks like an Electrolux, But No one titty fucks like Christina Apple... Nevermind.
  • 200 people died in Syria yesterday, but who cares, because Mitt Romney gave out free sandwiches.

Daddy's Rockin' Steakhouse
  • Fat kids are harder to kidnap
  • Old farts with creepy parts
  • Trivia Thursday does not make for a "good Friday"

Duke of Devon Pub
  • Dirty Clams
  • Sofa King Awesome
  • Take off your pants & jack-it
  • Two Girls, One Cup... of chunky hot chocolate
  • Foreign misfits and collection of various idiots
  • Foreign misfits and collection of various idiots
  • Mayor's Ryan Drinking Buddies I can say Sheboygan's more times in 10 seconds than you can!

Crisp Pizza Bar
  • Some asshole broke into my car today, isn't that worth a free pizza?
  • The Secret Service's Secret Services


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