Antonio's Sports Bar
  • Fuck the Jonas Brothers
  • We’re HIV positive…..about our answers
  • Nelson Mandela wishes he was Chuck Norris
  • My mom doesn’t wrestle but you should see her box 
  • Too fast, way too furious, too soon?
  • Condoms and Rattlesnakes; two things we don’t fuck wit
  • (Nobody beats) Off in the woods

Brass Monkey
  • Twat the Night Before Christmas
  • Nelson Mandela Was Excellent in the Shawshank Redemption
  • Somebody's Mistake
  • We've Got Your Stocking Stuffers!
  • Santa Sees Me When I'm Masturbating
  • So, you're telling me this isn't Speed Dating? 
Cafe Centraal
  • We're More Fun Than A Screen Door On A Submarine
  • Darling It's Better, Down Where It's Wetter...
  • Santa's Schweaty Sleighballs
  • The Only Gift We're Giving You This Christmas Is The Creeps
  • 5 Girls and 4Skin
  • Q: How Do You Get A Nun Pregnant? A: Dress Her Up As a Choirboy
  • Squat To Poop

Cafe Hollander
  • Dick Cheney makes a terrifying Santa Claus 
  • We don’t sit on Santa’s lap because we have CLAUStriphobia 
  • Bros before HoHoHo’s 
  • The Weatherman predicted six inches but he came up short 
  • Nelson Mandela = 2 Fast 2 Furious
  • The Weatherman Promised Me 6 Inches And I Only Got 4 :(
  • If Boys Had A Uterus, They Would Be Called Dudeteruses 
  • I'm So Sore After Black Friday . . . Cuse I Was Standing In Line All Day You Pervert!
  • Don't Pick Us, We'll Bleed
  • We Fumble For Touchdowns Too
  • Look, There's A Rainbow . . . . Do Me On It!
  • Aaron Rodgers, King Of The North!
  • Anthony Weiner's jpeg 
  • The Wolf Of State Street
  • Fear The Fixed Gear

Caffrey's Pub
  • I read about the evils of drinking, so I gave up drinking

Camp Bar
  • I also piss the bed when I drink Pepsi
  • Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, and by chestnuts, I mean testicles
  • Frosty Nixon, it's freakin' cold outside!
  • "This popcorn is making me thirsty"
  • This one time, at Camp. 
  • Helen Keller to the President "Could you turn the lights up in here?"
  •  Is that your long shaft putter, or is that just my imagination 
  • Getting Quizzy with it... Na na na nananana
  • Pick us and we'll blow you. Pick us or we'll blow you?
  • Wayne Rooney's Hair Transplant
  • Sasquatches Thundercunt

Club Garibaldi
  • Santa Claus is cumming and Clay Aikens is watching
  • The Trouser Snakes 
  • I got an 8 inch softie
  • Do you think his car was full of Vin Diesel
  • Shit Stain, White Pants

Eatery on Farwell
  • All I Want for Christmas is Booze
  • Santa Claus is Going to Town, On Deez Hoes 
  • Last time I saw a Pistol Grip was in the bathroom of a Walmart
  • Bloody Tampans
  • Girls are like pasta, they're all straight until they're hot and wet.
  • Milwookies

Fixture Brewing Company
  • Does Playing Nudey Photo Hunt Put Us On The Naughty List?
  • Our Only Christmas Wish Is More Friends...So We Can Win Trivia 
  • Tongue Punching The Fart Box
  • Married With Steroids (This is about Ryan Braun) 
  • I'm Glad I Didn't Shave... Anywhere
  • My Boa Constrictor Don't Want None Unless You Got Buns Hun
  • Rectum? Damn Near Killed 'Em!
  • At Least We Didn't Cheat But I'm Sure Your Mom Does

Fox River House
  • I feel bad for Richard Nixon’s wife, because every night she got penetrated by a ‘Tricky Dick.
  • Wet Bandits
  • Keep the change ya filthy animal

The Highbury
  • If I were in space, I would sing Genesis, not read it.
  • The only Duck Dynasty that matters is Emilio Estevez's Mighty Ducks
  • A selfie with Idie Amin is better than a hand-job from an impostor sign language interpreter in South Africa
  • If I start a band, I'm going to call it "Barak O'Bama and the Funeral Selfies"
  • Mandela's Sign Language Interpreter
  • In honor of South Africa we are boycotting an offensive team name

Jack's American Pub
  • What does the fox say? Santa Claus is white!! 
  • Two guys, a pen, and a rape whistle
  • Queefer Sutherland
  • 1912 Titanic Swim Team
  • RIP Scott, oops! Paul Walker

Loaded Slate
  • 5 Girls, 1 Guy and a Bar
  • A Hannah Montana Christmas Special : Robin Thicke, Dog Dick
  • Why Does There Have to be a Geography Category? 
  • This Host Definitely Shaves His Ass 
  • Forrest Dump
  • All You Can Eat Pink Tacos
  • Leather Jacket's Got Nice Tits
  • Mike Hunt
  • Annual Pornhub Subscribers 
  • Paul Walker's Porsche

Major Goolsby's
  • Follow @mknodurft on twitter
  • Paul Walker Texas Ranger

McGillycuddy's
  • Wings or Porn – Either Way You Have a Mess On Your Hands 
  • All Mariah Carrey Wants for Christmas is a Dick in a Box!
  • Why the Hell Isn’t Arnold Schwarzenegger the host of ‘To Catch a Predator’
  • I Got Da Bronchitis! Ain’t Nobody got time fo dat… Gimme a cold Pop
  • Weight Room Butt Touch
  • Masturbating Meerkats
  • Too Fast, Too Soon?

Miller Time Pub
  • I’m Feeling Snooper Thanks For Asking
  • Moonrise Kingdom 
  • My Ass These Cheese Curds Are Magnificent
  • Jay Cutler's Diabetes 
  • Palmela Handerson

Milwaukee Brat House
  • You can reach out and touch this dick 
  • I have an explosvie package for you in my underpants...Ho Ho Hoes 
  • Have yourself a Merry Little Schlitz-mas
  • Breakfast at Tiffany's vagina 
  • It's colder outside than a witch's tit... in my pants!
  • Much like a bowling alley, I have something that is 42 inches... in my pants
  • Lumburg fucked her... 
  • If they move my Schlitz one more time, I'm going to burn this building to the ground
  • Butt Fucking Wolverine
  • Paul Walking Dead

New Berlin Ale House
  • Kim Jong Un's Family Christmas
  • Shoulda Wasted That $1 On A Mega Millions Ticket
  • Are You Smarter Than A Third Grader? Because We Brought One
  • 3=======D
  • We Party Like Rob Ford
  • 2 Fast 2 Furious, 2 Soon?
  • Miley's Drug Dealers
  • A Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good
  • My Table Tennis Net Is Bigger Than Your
  • sCram It Up Your Cram Hole LaFleur

O'Lydias
  • All I want for Christmas is a big black dildo
  • I'll cum on ye face... full 
  • All we want for Quizmas is a Quarterbarrel Dude! 
  • Check out my selfie with my country cock, I mean crock
  • A Mandela Joke? Really Guys? Have some Class! 
  • Obama Family Selfies: The Funeral Collection
  • Little bit of Lou Bega in my life
  • The difference between Paul Walker and Scott Walker - - Nothing, they're both dead to me.
  • Ru Paul Walker Texas Rangers 
  • Paul Walker's Fiery OCTOCOPTER!!!
  • Paul Should've Walkered

Panther Pub
  • Staching through the snow
  • John Wilkes Booth and The Showstoppers
  • East Westchester Northstars, Champions of the Southeast Conference
  • Shart-Nado

Red Rock Saloon
  • Romo wasn't built in a day but it fell apart in the 2nd half 
  • Welcome to Red Rock Saloon, where we've gone one week without an asshole shouting out an answer
  • Romo was in the giving spirit yesterday!!
  • Merry Fuckin Christmas
  • Did you hear the new Helen Keller joke? Don't worry, neither did she!
  • The only thing worse that shephard's pie is a monarchy --- that's why I live in America, drive a pick-up and love FREEDOM 
  • Franklin Roosevelt and Teddy Roosevelt are not the same person, Robyn!
  • Paul should have walkered!
  • I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around 
  • My fart will go on!

Riverwest Filling Station
  • What A-hole Names their Kid Christmas?
  • Move Over Rudolph, Eddie Lacy Will Lead the Way!
  • I Think Whatever It Is...It Shouldn't Give Me a Handjob 
  • Would You Like to Touch My Big Toe?
  • Paul Walker and Mandela Both Died at 95
  • Tuesday Night Basement Strippers

St. Francis Brewery
  • If Obama Will Take a "Selfie" at a Funeral, What "Selfies" Does He Take Behind Closed Doors?
  • I Am Sofa King We Todd Did
  • The Cunning Stunts
  • That Tampan's Really Red, Must be Sunburn
  • With Great Mustache Comes Great Responsibility
  • 60% of the Time, We're Right 100% of the Time

Titletown Brewing Co.
  • Too Fast, Too Furious, Too Soon? 
  • I met my girlfriend on healthcare.gov
  • Fast and Furious 7 (minutes) in heaven
  • Scruffy looking nerfherders

Three Lions Pub
  • There's a burning yule log in my fiery place
  • Shot of rail gin!? mmmm! Tastes like Xmas! 
  • The 4 cocksmen
  • O come let us inside her

Two Bucks
  • "The Wolf on Murray St."
  • Hustle and Blow
  • We're not gay, but $20 is $20
  • Da Bears Still Suck
  • Fat Tits and Chocolate Milk
  • Whoopie Goldberg Has No Eyebrows
  • Too Fast, Too...Ludacris
  • I Labatt Blue Myself

Vino 100
  • Madiba's Sign Language Interpreter 
  • I Once Wrestled An Anaconda For An Hour…Then I Realized I Was Masturbating. 
  • Paul Walker, He's so hot right now 
  • Creamer for your Coffee

Whiskey Bar
  • Mrs. Claus' Yoga Pants Give her Mistletoe
  • The Shittier Show
  • It's a Shame Mandela Died, He Had An Awesome Ugly Sweater For My Party, It Took 27 Years To Knit
  • Nelson Mandela May Be Dead, But Don't Worry, Morgan Freeman Is Still Alive
  • We'd Be Better Trivia Players, But We're Too Busy Having Sex
  • Winter is Coming....Except For Paul Walker
  • We Don't Come Here Often

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