Brass Monkey
  • Rectum? I Nearly Killed Him 
  • Gary Coleman Lived a Short Life 
  • My Girlfriend Keeps Saying I Need to Stop Being a Pedophile. Pretty Big Word for a 12 Year Old.
  • The Government May Close, but My Legs Never Do!
  • We Did Poorly in School. And Most Likely in Quizmaster Trivia.
  • Liquor? I Barely Knew Her! 

Cafe Centraal
  • I'm A Bieliber In Deportation
  • Lesbian Barbie Comes In Her Own Box
  • First Rule of Team Names Is You Don't Talk About Team Names!
  • Bieber's Future Cellmates
  • Erin Andrew Is A Thug
  • Bieber's Egging is the Biggest Waste of Eggs Since Bieber's Conception
  • In Last Place
  • Team Names Are Dumb
  • Hitler? I Hardly Know Her?
  • Only 357 Shopping Days Til Christmas
  • New Year, New Regrets

Cafe Hollander
  • Guess What Came In The Mail Today? Me, I Ran Out Of Tissues
  • The Polar Vortex Gives Me A Believable Excuse For Micropenis
  • Three Ovaries And A Brovary
  • Clearly I Need To Read More
  • Fuzzy Door Productions Presents The Bush Twins
  • It's So Cold Out I Just Keyed Someone's Car With My Nipples
  • Vonn Has A Lot Of Time To Wash Tigers Balls 
  • We Obviously have ADD
  • Cold As Tits!!!!

Caffrey's Pub
  • Baghdad Ass Up 
  • Holy Witch-Tits and Warlock-Cocks, It's Cold!!
  • Born in the Bathroom, Still the Shit
  • Edward "Snowed-in"
  • Jack Lewandowksi's # is 248-255-9004
  • Our Drinking Team Has a Trivia Problem
  • Sloppy Eighths 
  • I don't do cocaine, I just like the smell

Camp Bar
  • Oooooh! Nothing is more lovely than the periwinkle cliffs of Dover 
  • Daft Drunk
  • Malcom XXX's speech was "I have a Wet Dream!"
  • We no sports good
  • Real Futbol is kind of like Euro Disney
  • We watched black porn in honor of MLK day
  • We Came, We Saw, We Conquered....Trivia
  • You're so vein, you probably think this quiz is about you.

Centennial
  • Sarah Palin's Son, "Water Polo Palin"
  • Nick Cage is the greatest actor of all time.

Club Garibaldi
  • Chewbacca with a Spiral Perm
  • Ms. Jackson Says: Plastic Bag it if you're nasty. 
  • The weather outside is frightful but my ass hurts
  • Steve Zissou's Aquatic Adventure
  • You invited me in for coffee and I ended up sucking your Polar Vortex
  • Be gentle, it's our first time

Fixture Brewing Company
  • I Drank The Sizzurp And Now I Have The Beieber Feaver!!!
  • On A Night This Cold, Who Wouldn't Want A HOT CARL?
  • Shouldn't It Be Called "Un-Planned Parenthood?"
  • Self Cleaning Dutch Ovens
  • Is It In Yet?
  • Chlamydia Is My Favorite Flower
  • My Mom Sucks At Wrestling But You Should See Her Box
  • Farting In My Fancy Coat

Fox River House
  • Biebs Underground Racing Crew
  • Even with -50 degree wind chill, I’d rather drink and do trivia than drink and watch the State of the Union
  • Your mom has the prettiest face I've ever cum upon 
  • It seems like the team with the longest name always wins, which is bullshit, Bill

The Highbury
  • I've got a "Hard Rock" in my pants!
  • Rattlesnakes and Condoms: Two things I don't fuck with 
  • Mating, Dating, and Masturbating
  • Three blacks, an asian, and a token caucasian
  • Quiz me Quizmaster :)
  • When does karaoke start?
  • Jay Cutler re-signed = 7 more years of The Bears Still Suck.
  • Absolute Zero is signing Jay Cutler to a 7 year extension

Jack's American Pub
  • Quizzard Sleeves 
  • I'm the best cornerback in the league! 
  • "Just give me the damn ten dollars for best team name already"
  • Cram it up your cram-hole, Lafleur
  • Lombardi Went to Jared
  • Pocahontas was an eleven year old man

Loaded Slate
  • 007 Goldfingered My Octopussy 
  • 1 Call, That's All
  • I Love Squirters 
  • Fast 6: J Biebs' Joy Ride
  • Justin Bieber: Very Loose Butthole
  • Bieber's Butt Buddies
  • James and the Giant Dick
  • Messier Than a Coat Hanger Abortion 
  • Larry Sanders' Bottle Service
  • Crouching Tiger Hidden Cucumber
  • Marilyn Manson was My Babysitter 
  • Incest: A Game the Whole Family Can Play
  • What's My Mothaf**kin' Name (Ja Rule voice)
  • Hey Quizmaster, Stop Breaking Ja Rules

Major Goolsby's
  • How Does Moses Make Coffee? Hebrews it!

McGillycuddy's
  • Early Orgasm - The Rest Of Our Team Is Coming Later
  • Taint Of The Union Roses Are Red, Violets Are Shy, Bite The Pillow Bitch, I'm Going In Dry 
  • If Russia IS The Motherland And Germany Is The Fatherland, Was WWII Domestic Violence? 
  • I Love To Watch Children At The Playground Run and Yell, But They Don't Know I'm Using Blanks
  • They're Real And They're Spectacular
  • Phuck Michigan - Nothing Silent About It
  • Wanna See My Payton Manthing
  • Is It OK To Tell Yo Mama Jokes At An Orphanage? 
  • Wanna Hear A Joke? Women's Sports. 
  • What DO You Call The Quizmaster's Cum Towel? A Krispy Kreame
  • Who Needs A Pick-Up Line When You Can Just Lick Someone's Face?

Miller Time Pub
  • It's Cold in Westown and the Wizards aren't Lion!
  • Lesbihonest, MyCy Rules 
  • Victorious Secret 
  • Test Icicles

Milwaukee Brat House
  • When I don't shave, I have a black forest... in my pants
  • What's the difference between marmalade and jam? You can't marmalade your cock in a girl's ass.
  • Elton John's is the real queen of England 
  • I have a GIANT wad of dong... in my pants
  • What's the vietnamese word for cock?!?
  • Muck like Barbie, my dong is anatomically impossible
  • I wish I had a British accent
  • Holy Schlitz it's cold out there
  • My thermostat reads negative fuck off

Mulligans Irish Pub
  • We Were on a Break
  • Boobs are great! We have 8...
  • My mom's playlist...Not!
  • What do they do with dead chemists? They Barium.
  • Our couches pull out but our Husbands don't
  • Havana Omelette

New Berlin Ale House
  • New Jersey Bridge TrafficI
  • t's Not Gay If It's A 3-Way
  • Tie Breaker: Snowball Fight
  • We Cheated For Eighth Place

O'Lydias
  • State of the Union: Meh 
  • Pharrel's Arby's Hat 
  • Guys, Macklemore Sucks. Seriously. 
  • Beiber's Going Back to Canada
  • Yay! I'm getting deported! You best Belieber!
  • If you had as many dicks coming out of you as you had sticking in you, you would look like a damn porcupine!
  • My Girlfriend's 3 Feet Tall and I'm Nuts Over Her!
  • Cool Runnings 2014
  • Chris Christie like a bridge over troubled water
  • Chris Christie should be the new spokesperson for tampax
  • Ripley's believe it or not: We looked up everything on our cellphones
  • Dickless for Michael Chiklis
  • Started from the bottom now we're here... at the bottom.

Panther Pub
  • Raber Rogers Rapers
  • Mogadishu Mogadishu
  • My dad's mustache is older than me!

Red Rock Saloon
  • You can't spell Hoboken without HOBO
  • Justin Bieber - the new Miley Cyrus or the next Paul Walker 
  • I have a dreamcast
  • The 2 states that legalized pot are getting together for a "Super Bowl"
  • Blind Prostitutes: ya gotta hand it to 'em
  • Salvador Dali Parton's surreal boob job
  • Sacajewea is a great coin... to masturbate too
  • It only burns when I pee
  • North Korea is the happiest place on Earth

Riverwest Filling Station
  • South Side Missed Connections
  • George Bush Paints Nudes
  • Al Zheimers Will Be Rocky's Final Opponent
  • It's Not the Size of the Polar Vortex that Counts...

St. Francis Brewery
  • The Walking Talking Stephen Hawkings
  • Our Stradivarius is Playing Us a Crying Tune
  • "Just Eat It"...That's What She Said!
  • The Bieber Deportation Team
  • Obama's Big Black Caucus
  • Rehab is for Quitters 
  • Houston Must Be a Great City, I Hear It's Full of Cougars!

Titletown Brewing Co.
  • Too Fast, Too Furious, Too Soon?
  • I met my girlfriend on healthcare.gov
  • Fast and Furious 7 (minutes) in heaven
  • Scruffy looking nerfherders

Three Lions Pub
  • Who else thinks our quizmaster looks like Jesse from Breaking Bad? 
  • Vagina jokes just aren't funny - period
  • Like a supermodels vagina, please give a warm welcome to Leonardo Dicaprio 
  • You mean we didn't win?! Thanks alot Obama! 
  • Apparently being born in Somalia is a new diet fad 
  • Who gives a fuck about Sarah Palin's kids?! 
  • What's a condom?

Twisted Fisherman
  • If There's Grass on the Field, Play Ball
  • My IPod has a Stutter
  • Our Maine man, Michael Jackson, was a 'Lovefool' and we ain't lion...or tiger

Two Bucks
  • Amy Winehouse has been sober for 3 years!
  • Hillary can't win because Barbara says "no more Bush in office" 
  • He-Man Woman Haters Club
  • Vladimir Putin's totally-not-gay-manly-horse-riding-shirtless-photo-shoot
  • Washington and Colorado in the "Super-Bowl"

Vino 100
  • Would You Like To Eat My Cupcake? 
  • Justin Bieber's Attorney's New Ferrari
  • Bieber Drops The Soap
  • In Prison He's Justine Bieber 
  • Chris Christie's Detours

Whiskey Bar
  • Bieber Would Be Screwed If Columbo Was Still Alive
  • Fuck The Polar Vortex
  • This Losing Score Brought To You By Jameson 
  • I Don't Like Sloopy Seconds, But I'll Take What I Can Get
  • My Canadian Boyfriend Is #1 On The Forbes Fictional 15 
  • Chris Christie's Traffic Directors
  • I'd Climb That Like A Tree
  • The Snow Blows Like Your Mom
  • Christie Wouldn't Have Closed A Bridge To Dunkin Doughnuts

author profile image