Milwaukee Ale House
  • Lost two quid on England in the Euros - would've been better spent on a blow job from the Queen 
  • I put the STD in STUD... All I need is U! 
  • Axe may get dirty boys clean but does it cure Syphillis?" 
  • You press the button, we'll do the rest" Sounds like the slogan for the first vibrator 
  • Rodney King killed himself because a team from LA won the Stanley Cup 
  • Motel 6: where dirty boys get taught a lesson 
  • Jerry Sandusky is my uncle 
  • Walking through a hipster neighborhood yelling "Glee did it better" is the new suicide 
  • Sorry man, but the only person who likes the younger brother better is Jerry Sandusky 
  • Maverick, Goose and Iceman - all nicknames for my testicles. (Note there are three of them) 
  • His ACL isn't the only he blew this weekend 
  • Something clever about Rollie Fingers and balls 
  • I kissed a girl but then I went with Geico... 
  • Aren't people from Dallas just called assholes?! 
  • Ain't no party like a Zombie party - it never dies
Cafe Hollander
  • Sandusky’s New Cell Mate Will Make Him Scream Louder
  • I Kissed LeBron’s Mom & She Tickled My Pickle 
  • Shut Up And Drink Your Beer 
  • Did You Hear About The Corduroy Pillowcase? It’s Making Headlines! 
  •  Married, Separated, & Single – Threesome Looking For Love! 
  • I Opened A Window, A Cool Breeze Rolled In . . . And I Quizzed In My Pants 
  • The Price Is Wrong Bitch 
  • Stick A Shampoo Bottle Up My Ass And Jerk Me Off At A Medium Pace 
  • Sorry Doesn't Put The Delicious Triscuit Crackers In My Stomach, Does It Carl? 
  •  Lucroy’s Suitcase 
  • “I, Uh, Am A Sexual Predator . . . This Is Not A Team Name. I Am Turning Myself In As An Honest Man.” 
  •  “I’m Not Cheating . . . . It’s Only An Email”
    Caffrey's Pub
    • The real "red storm" is Zoe's Period which also happens to last 179 years 
    • How do you get a nun pregnant? dress her up as an alter boy 
    • Messi Loads 
    • "Can I get a hell yeah...?" Only If I Get A Blowjob 
    • Long Hair, Don't Care 
    • I Wish This Microphone Was A Penis 
    • This would be easier if I could read Osama Bin Laden... two shots and a splash of water 
    • I had my 1st sexual awakening watching Goose and Maverick play volleyball 
    • If we dont win best team name we will reveal the size, shape & taste of Zoey's Vagina 
    • Hi, Have we met standing up? 
    • Whats the useless piece of skin around the vagina called? .. The woman 
    •  I can't believe I shaved my balls for this!
    Whiskey Bar
    • Endless Love - the Hellen Keller Steve Wonder Tennis Match 
    • Better late than pregnant 
    • What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out the window! 
    • Rosa Parks didn't call shotgun 
    • Suck it Trebek! 
    • Helen Keller's Drum Kit 
    • Strangely Enough The Box Is Also The Name Of My Ex-Girlfriend 
    • Whats Black and Sits At The Top Of the Stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire 
    • I Was Going To Bang My Wife But A Suitcase Fell On My Dick 
    • Why Cant Barbie Get Pregnant? Ken Comes In A Box 
    • Lemony Snickets Series Of Unfortunate Events Sponsored By Jack Daniels And Trojan Condoms

      McGillycuddy's
      • What Does Caviar And Michael Jackson Have In Common? A Wasted Best Team Name 
      • The More I Go In The More She Cums Out 
      • I Wanna Make Clam Chowder In Your Belly Button 
      • Why Didn't LeBron Go To College? He Would Never Go To The Finals 
      • Other Than That, How Did You Like The Parade Mrs. Kennedy? 
      • Holocaust Jokes Aren't Funny, Anne Frankly, I Will Not Stand For Them 
      • What Do LeBron And Stevie Wonder Have In Common? Neither Of Them Know What A Championship Ring Looks Like.

        Cans Bar
        • Why does helen keller masturbate with her left hand? so she can moan with her right 
        • I CAME IN ALL OF YOUR DRINKS

          Upper 90 Sports Pub
          • My Girlfriend Called Me a Pedophile; I Told Her That's a Pretty Big Word For a Five-Year-Old 
          • Hey, I Just Met You, and This is Crazy, But Shut the Fuck Up and Give Me the Bar Tab Baby 
          • Ryan Dunn's Porsche Repair & BBQ 
          • Sandusky's Sloppy Seconds 
          • Trojan Condoms: We Try Harder 
          • I Can't Believe the Brewers Fucking Lost to the God Damn Royals. Specifically, Fuck That Team 
          • Ronaldo Is A Bitch Fallopian Swim Team

            Fox River House
            • Sandusky was just teaching those kids the 'ins and outs' of the game 
            • I cry when I cum 
            • Bill and Ted's Most Excellent Adventure was in my Pants 
            • Bath Salts Were the Reason Ed Gein Dug Up His Mom - Just Sayin' He Did Them 1st. 
            •  My Probation Officer Says I'm Not Allowed Near Schools Anymore...

            Milwaukee Brat House
            • Fuck you you fucking fuck 
            • Is that swamp ass in your pants, or are you just happy to see me? 
            • Although he dances like he's black, Justin Timberlake is white 
            • Bake til golden brown, serve with Schlitz 
            • Kill the prime minister of Malaysia 
            • The real Triple H, Hemeroids, Herpes, and HIV.... in my pants 
            • We can't think of a team name because all of our jokes are about rape

              Mulligans Irish Pub
              • Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because she get's a frog in her throat at 69 
              • Hot Carl and the Cleveland Steamers 
              • Alright. I'll Play Dammit. Stop Harassing Me! 
              •  Johnathan Lucroy's wife broke his hand, but you should see what I did to her 
              • What do you call an adolescent rabbit? A pubic hare 
              • Will quiz for beer 
              • Woody Allen's Massive Labido

                Attebury's Pub and Eatery
                • Not Quite Old Enough For The Glue Factory. 
                • Tell OJ we are the killers 
                • Pete went to Country Thunder, he thought it was the same as Thunder From Down Under 
                • How does a French woman hold her licker? By his ears. 
                • 60% of the time we are right every time 
                • Is That Your Silver Bullet Vibrating In Your Suitcase Or Are You Just Happy To See Me. 
                • The Willis Tower Sounds Like Something Gary Coleman Used To Climb. 
                • Too Think To Drunk Straight.

                  Black Rose Irish Pub
                  • Can someone please put this microphone in my ass! 
                  • Hey I just met you, this is crazy, but I ate bath salts, so your face looks tasty. 
                  • Boobs are nice things.

                    Blackthorn Pub
                    • Princess Peach’s Tacos 
                    • Harry Twatter and the Bed Chamber of Secrets

                      Grafton Ale House
                      • Who'd win Jeopardy - Sarah Palin or the Dodo? 
                      •  I'm pretty sure your mom told me I'm bigger than Jesus 
                      • This just in... I met George Michael in a bathroom stall 
                      • You must be Irish because my penis is Dublin 
                      •  Idaho... no, you da ho! 
                      • I've broken the 10-second barrier but she wasn't happy 
                      • Apparently we should have been drinking... because we failed @ thinking 
                      • I'm Ryan and my leg is not the swollen thing... thanks Vicki Gundelson 
                      • What's bigger? You're French Quarter or my great balls of fire 
                      •  Trick Question - Jay-Z's boat was going to Ryan's Mom's house 
                      • Hi I'm Ryan and I pity the fool that moves the quiz to Tuesdays 
                      • R Kelly: If I don't win I'll piss on you

                        The Highbury
                        • What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist fuck. 
                        •  If you dream of werewolves having sex, it is called a LUPUS dream 
                        • Today I'm chewing bubble gum instead of kicking ass 
                        • I'd call Lebron James a cunt, but he lacks the warmth and depth 
                        • John Travolta got a sweet massage from Roald Dahl. 
                        • Anne Frank is bad at knock knock jokes 
                        •  It's okay... Tom Barrett knows how to take a beating.

                          Major Goolsby's
                          • This is crazy, but i may have fucked your niece 
                          • Thanks for not canceling trivia because of the stupid basketball game 
                          • Quiz in your face (is bad for your health) 
                          • A lapdance from a hypnotized tranny is better than it sounds

                             St. Francis Brewery
                            • Going to Lose This Week 
                            • We're Not Smarter than 5th Graders! 
                            • Fat Kids are Harder to Kidnap
                            • We Pulled Most of these Answers Out of Our Arses!

                              Three Lions Pub
                              • Just like The Hurricane, our Vaginas require Fists of Fury 
                              • We Dig 4 play 
                              • A Male blue whale Produces 600 gallons of sperm each time it ejaculates, but only 40% of that actually makes it into its mate, which means 360 gallons flows into the ocean...and you wondered why the Ocean is so Salty!

                                Replay Sports Bar
                                • Tell the square root of negative one to multiply by itself, because shit just got real 
                                • Quit being a fucking Dinosaur and get a real job! 
                                • I flew 3,963 miles to London for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee and all I got was this lousy rim job.
                                • Lebron James' Receding Hairline

                                  Duke of Devon Pub
                                  • Team Chemical Toilet 
                                  • I'm voting for Bob Ryan on Tuesday 
                                  • What did the male toast say to the female toast during sex? I'm gonna crumb! I'm gonna crumb!

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